A SAD, SAD Day

Thursday, July 31, 2008 was a very hard day for my sister, my brother, and me. Mother has been in the hospital for 3 weeks and this week had refused her meds, food, and liquids. Anita (from Ohio), Phil (from Texas), and I spend a lot of time by her bed and she was lucid some of the time. We all had a chance to talk to her and listen to her wise and loving words, although it was hard to understand her. She made it clear that she was ready to go and that she wanted to go” today”! She did not seem to be in pain but she was miserable and suffering. Anita asked her if she was afraid and she said she wasn’t. It really felt like she would go at any minute.

We met as a family and decided to stop all the meds and IV’s, except for her pain patch. The plan was to move her to the skilled nursing section of VMRC (Virginia Mennonite Retirement Community) the next morning and Hospice would be involved with her care there.

BUT……the puzzling and frustrating thing for her doctor was that her vitals were all good, her back Kyphoplasty worked and her back pain is gone, her kidneys are fine, etc. so physically, there was no reason for her to die. He attributed it to a deep depression and tried his best to encourage and motivate her, telling her that if she would try, she could be walking out of there one of these days. She didn’t respond. (Yes, he had put her on an anti-depressant.)

Hospital Stay for Mother

Mother was in Assisted Living for about a month. A week ago Saturday, she was not able to get up, even with the help of two assistants. She went to the Emergency Room, was admitted and she's been there 9 days.

After more MRIs, CAT scans, etc. they found she had a lumbar compression fracture on L-4 (yes, that means she has a broken back). There was no fall but sometimes when older bones are so fragile, even a turn or twist can cause a break.

Friday morning they did a procedure called a Kyphoplasty, where they go into the broken vertebrae and inflate a balloon to press the fracture back in place. Then they fill that space with a special cement. This has helped many people get relief from pain. Click the words for more info: 1.Kyphoplasty definition 2. Kyphoplasty is.. 3. Kyphoplasty video

She slept the whole day Friday and looked peaceful. Yesterday, she was confused but was upset because she knew she was confused. That's a result of the pain meds building up in her system and they're already cutting back on those. It appears they'll leave the pain patch but will be using Tylenol for additional pain if that will do the job.

I feel relieved that they DID something. I was afraid they'd go the "brace/therapy" routine again. Things are set up for her to return to the retirement center to their Skilled Nursing section for a while. We don't yet know when that will be.