Every Day is Different for Mother

When I went to the rahab center to see Mother yesterday, the nurse practitioner (Angie) saw me in the hallway. She said Mother stopped talking the day before and had been silent all day. All her vitals are excellent, her bladder infection is cleared up, and her oxygen is 100%. Angie had observed that she appeared to be gritting her teeth and clinching her lips together. It almost seemed like she was mad at someone. No matter how gently the different ones coaxed, she wouldn't speak.

I got Mother's clean laundry all hung, then tried to wake her up. She seemed almost frozen in one position as she were holding herself still. I kept coaxing and urging her to talk. It was hard coming up with open-ended questions. When she would speak I had to put my ear almost by her mouth to hear.

What I put together is that she thinks that some girls (not the nurses) are going to shoot her. Maybe she's keeping silent and still thinking they won't see her? She said that when her therapist came, she thought he had switched over to their side - I reassured her that he is on her side and all the nurses are too. She said they got her ready for death and after much probing she said they bathed her and put black clothes on her (she had on purple clothes).

One sweet note - all of a sudden she started talking with animation and smiles about a black man and there was a party at the barn. I asked and she meant the barn in Dobson, her hometown in North Carolina. She told the man she was staying overnight and wondered if he would like to stay. She was sleeping downstairs and he could choose any room upstairs that he wanted. He was sooo happy and said he'd admired that house all his life and it was his dream to sleep in it. When I asked who the man was a couple of times - she motioned with her eyes at her sleeping roommate, who is black and does look somewhat masculine.

I'm wondering if we're seeing some dementia here or a reaction to her overpowering nightmares and dreams that seem to repeat themselves.

Preparing to Move Mother to Texas

As you probably know, my brother Philip is a nurse anesthetist in Texas. He has been here several times this year and is planning to take Mother to Texas for the winter (or longer). He had planned to have her in his home but when he saw how much care Mother needs, how much equipment is required (a patient lift is the only way to get her comfortably out of and into bed), and realized that he and Maribeth both work, I was very relieved to hear that they have decided to put her in a rehab center near them until she can build up more strength. Hopefully, she'll be able to sit up, get out of bed, and walk with a walker one of these days.

Phil and Maribeth are coming in this Friday night and will get Levi from his dorm at J.M.U. on Saturday morning. They will stay here till Tuesday, when they'll go to Pittsburgh to have Thanksgiving with Maribeth's family. Ed and I are going to eat turkey and the trimmings at the rehab center with Mother, then go to Beth and Robert Foerster's house for dessert.

They'll return on Saturday to bring Levi back and proceed to Baltimore to catch their flight on Sunday afternoon. Maribeth and I will get almost all the packing done for Mother and we'll all work to winterize the farm house.

The following Friday, December 5th, Phil is flying into our local airport arriving at 10:30 p.m. Some dear friends in town will pick him up and have him overnight. He'll have to be at the rehab center early to get all set. It seemed silly to have him come all the way out here for just a few hours. Thank you, Aldeen and Eugene!

The flight is set for Saturday, December 6th at noon. We're arranging a transport service so Mother can ride in a wheelchair to Baltimore airport. There is no charge for Phil to ride with her. It costs $340, which is not all that bad. We would have preferred a vehicle with a gurney but that same trip would be $1,750.00! Phil has booked first class seats so there will be more room and comfort for Mother. Then Maribeth will be waiting when they land in Dallas. I already feel so relieved and blessed they they are doing this. They know I need a break.

A Day Makes a Difference

Angie called me this morning to report that Mother was a totally different person today. Not only did she talk, she interacted and laughed. A maintenance man was working on painting the door. Mother commented at how foolish it was to paint that brown door black and that it looked horrid! Angie got such a laugh out of, not only what she said, but how she said it.

I've been trying to call her all afternoon but she doesn't answer. I called the nurse's desk and asked that they make sure she could reach the phone. They thought she was at therapy then but this is over 2 hours later and she still doesn't answer. Oh, well, I'll keep trying.

Follow-up Visit with Mother's Surgeon

Yesterday I went with Mother to Charlottesville (with a transport service on a gurney) for a follow-up visit to her surgeon, Dr. Justin Smith. First she had X-rays. He said everything is looking as it should - it hasn't even been 6 weeks since her surgery. I was amazed at how well her scar, which is on her spine from her tailbone to above her waist, has healed. He showed me the X-rays of the steel (?) rods and screws - sort of like a kid's erector set.

When we returned and started in the front door of the rehab center, there was a technician there with a portable X-ray machine who had been to Mother's room. She said maybe she'd wait till morning for the X-ray. I wondered if this was a routine to X-ray all residents? No, it isn't.

Mother has pneumonia. Now she's on an antiobiotic for the pneumonia and on her 3rd type antibiotic for her bladder infection (perhaps her body is resistant after so many illnesses?). The nurse gave her a breathing treatment this morning and she is on oxygen. She is really confused, which is par for the course for older folks - for some reason bladder infections often cause confusion and the pneumonia added isn't helping at all