Thursday, December 11, 2008

Update on Mother and Murphy's Law

MONDAY: Yesterday was a tough day for Fran. She was so agitated and restless. The social worker called us to get permission to move her because her shouting throughout the night (Sunday) was more than her roommate could handle. She is now in a room with a 101 year old that can sleep through anything. She gets along well on a walker and is usually out of the room most of the day.

When I got to the rehab Fran was running a low grade fever and her sugar was going up and down. The doctor put her back on the sliding scale. Philip stopped by after work and helped me calm Fran down. Once she took her meds (reluctantly), she relaxed some and I stayed with her until she fell asleep.

TUESDAY: The doctor evaluated her this evening while Phil was visiting. He works with him at Baylor Medical Center and was glad to see that he was the Dr doing the evaluation. I just called the ward and talked to Fran's nurse who said she was relaxed all evening (still confused) and sleeping soundly.

WEDNESDAY: This evening, Philip called Ed and me from Mother’s room and said she had had a much better day. She was calm, some of her conversation made sense, and the part that didn’t was filled with funny things that made everyone laugh. The laughter encouraged her to say something else that was purposely funny – good for all! Ed and I talked to her and could make out some of what she said.

They’re going to get someone to test her eyes since she said she can’t see with the glasses she has. They’re also going to have a psychiatrist come evaluate her and hopefully get her on a psychotropic med that will work better than what she’s on. Phil’s medical knowledge and persistence will really make a difference in Mother’s situation. God bless Philip and Maribeth!

MURPHY'S LAW STRIKES AGAIN: Meanwhile, Ed and I are frantically trying to get ready to leave for Florida on Sunday morning. Between trying to get our house and Mother’s set with light timers that work, canceling cable, putting phone “on vacation”, and other such things, we’re scrambling.

Murphy’s Law in playing right in here. For example, to cancel cable for Mother, Ed went in to Comcast's office (Trip 1) but they had to see my Power of Attorney. He went back in with the Power of Attorney (Trip 2). They said he doesn't look like a Mary and that Mary has to come in. Mary went in with the %^#&!! Power of Attorney papers (Trip 3). They have to have the cable box, remote, and cord (Trip 4). Then they have to have Phil’s address to send the refund check (5th trip - by phone). Each item on our check-off list seems to have complications like this. Keeps life interesting, doesn't it?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

She's in Texas - with Dedicated Effort

I've got to hand it to Philip, my bro. He was determined that he was going to get Mother to Texas for the winter and he pulled it off. We have worked and planned for several months to be sure we covered all the bases. I had a chance to sit down with both her therapists at Harrisonburg Health and Rehab and discussed our goal: Not pushing to have her walk but work towards getting her to transfer - that is being able to move from the bed to a wheelchair without needing a lift. In these last two weeks they haven't used the lift AND when they got a person on each side, explained to her that she should help them, then count 1,2,3, she DID help! For one thing, her pain seems to be under control. Here's my dedicated brother's version of this unpredictable trip. Better him than me......I wouldn't have had a clue what to do!

Mary,

Here is some info from my particular skew on the adventure of taking Momma May to Texas. Edit it to your liking for your blog…..

Friday morning 4 am, I'm awake and thinking about Friday and Saturday. I'm up and at 'em, gathering stuff that I think I might need for my journey to Virginia and transport of Momma May back to Texas. I make a little pile of things on the bed in reparation. Then I get ready and go to work as usual. Anesthetized two folks in the morning: a 60 year-old man with a lot of belly pain and a gall bladder full of stones and a lady post-partum who had had 4 babies and wanted no more... she had a tubal ligation, as you have already guessed. Got off about 1130 hrs and went home, finished packing and hit the road for the airport.

I caught a plane from Dallas to Shenandoah Airport with layovers in Charlotte and Washington. Arrived in the valley at about 2300 hrs (11 p.m.) that night where Eugene and Aldeen Wenger were waiting for me. Stayed at their home for the night, which consisted of about 6 hours. I was up early about 5 am. Of all things to forget, it was the tooth brush. I used my finger and some toothpaste as best I could and a lot of mouthwash. Thank God nobody died in my presence from lethal breath. I must have used enough mouthwash.

Went to the Harrisonburg Rehab center to pick up Mom with the transport service. Mary, you were there and had everything packed, organized and ready to go. You were way on top of the details and made that part of the journey very easy. She was transported in her wheelchair in the van shackled down to the floor with about a zillion chains, locks and straps, not to mention a sophisticated seat belt around Momma May. Got on the road shortly after 7 am.

Got to the Baltimore Airport about 10:15 am, went to the American Airlines' desk, checked us in and called for a wheelchair. They sent Michelle, a little Down's syndrome girl, with the wheelchair to the curb. She was sweet as could be and obviously one of the brighter folks with her condition. Our driver, Chris, got mom outta the van. Transferred her from the van chair to the airline wheelchair with Chris's help. Mom survived with some protest.

Michelle accompanied us through security and to the gate. Security was a glitch and somewhat of a hassle, but a survivable one. Mom couldn't go through the detection gate, so she got the pat down and metal wand all over. She was not pleased. She required an Ativan at that point to quell her anxiety and agitation. She was a bit unglued by that point. We had to wait for over an hour for the boarding of the plane. When we got to the gate, mom had a narcoleptic episode where she would not open her eyes, talk or respond. She was breathing and had a pulse. Since I had seen her have an episode like this before, I was not panicky. Thought it might be related to a low blood sugar so I got Michelle to go get some orange juice from a vender close by. I was able to get Mom to wake up barely at that point and she took a sip or two of the orange juice but no more. She woke up and "came to". Then she got paranoid about her perceived predicament and demanded to be taken "home". She was belligerent and annoying to some travelers close by. I realized that one Ativan was not going to be effective so I gave her a Respiradol tab with her protesting all the while....told her it was for her blood pressure and that she really needed it badly. Exasperated I finally said, "The nurse at the rehab center told me you must have it." She relented and took the "&*%*" pill. In about a half hour the combo of the Ativan and Respiradol kicked in nicely and she took a nap till the plane was ready to board. I arranged for her to be the last one aboard - I figured that the less time she was actually on the plane, the better.

I sat there while she was taking her medication-induced nap wondering, “How the hell am I going to get her on the plane since the wheelchair won't actually fit into the aisle. Will I have to pick her up with a fireman's carry to get her to her seat?” I was a bit anxious at that point...thought I might have to take one of those anti-anxiety Ativan pills myself! The plane boarded and it was time for Mom's toughest transfer. I warned the airline stewards that she might be inappropriate and say some unsavory things to them. We wheeled the chair down the hall to the plane entrance.

Oh boy, here we go.... alas there was this tiny thin wheelchair like I had never seen before. It was obviously designed to fit down the aisle of the plane. The airline had two strong muscular "brothers" who were there to see things through. Neither one of them had a clue as to what to do. I directed them and they were more than happy to do what I said, cause they looked a little scared themselves. Luckily I had placed a fancy support belt on Mom that had 5 loops for grasping. It helped but the move was still a bit awkward. We transferred Mom to this little wheelchair and they strapped her down with another zillion straps but no chains. With legs dangling and Mom protesting loudly they pulled her backward into the plane and down the aisle to her seat. Thank God she was in the first seat in the plane so everyone in the plane didn't have to see her raise a stink about her situation. After another awkward transfer things began to settle down..... so I thought. The take off went smoother than I expected....I just held Mom's hand and she suffered no discontent. I had brought a DVD player on the flight but didn't use it because Mom's level of consciousness was just not where she could focus or appreciate the mini-theater activity.

The most challenging part of the journey was the plane ride. It was exhausting just trying to be attentive to the moment. Mom was loquacious. The plane noise and Mom's quiet voice made for difficult communication. I did a lot of head shaking, smiling, hand-holding and talking loudly to my hard-of-hearing mother. All the folks in first class tolerated us well. I guess the plane noise was our saving grace at that point. At 83 years of age, Mom has a mind full of memories, experiences, and thinking that is all meshed together into one memory bank. I never knew what she was going to say next or what direction the conversation would go. Often I just had to direct the conversation to concrete things like orienting her to where she was, who I was, and where we were going. Mentioning Maribeth was always an attention-getting and saving topic to keep Mom focused on a future event that I knew she would like. It was real work to try to keep up with her concerns and thought processes.

Descent and touchdown were uneventful. We were the last ones off the plane because we had to wait until the wheelchair brigade and assistants arrived. Moving off the plane was a little better than putting her on. By the time she was transferred into the plane mini-wheelchair and then again into the airline normal-size wheelchair, she was exhausted. But that wasn't the final transfer. Then there was the transfer from the airline chair to the car for transport to the new Rehab center. Maribeth was there waiting. As for baggage pickup, by the time we got to the baggage turnstile, the conveyor belt was stopped and all the other people and bags were gone. There was an airline rep standing over Mom's bag with a walkie-talkie. "Is this your bag?" When I told him it was, he was relieved when I took it off his hands. My wheelchair assistant and Mom were moved to the curb for transfer into the car, which we got done under more protest.

Mom fell asleep very quickly in the car and stayed that way for most of the 50 minute to the her new "temporary" home, the Pleasant Manor Health and Rehab Center in Waxahachie, Texas. On arrival there, a small army of attendants came to the car and got her transferred once again into another wheelchair with smooth efficiency, despite some mildly belligerent fussing. They moved her into her new bed and she slept while we finished the login procedures at the facility. She was sleeping when we left. We went home, I ate pizza with ice tea and went to bed about 2000 hrs (8 pm). I was so exhausted......I slept all night. God, I must be gettin old too! Philip.

Maribeth's experience is on the way..

Maribeth's Help with Moving Mom

Mary,

Yesterday I went to the Rehab center to unpack Fran’s suitcase full of her belongings that we brought with us last week, (following our Thanksgiving trip to Virginia for a few days and to my home in Pittsburgh, PA for a few days. It was also wonderful to see our only child, Levi, who is a freshman at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, VA, which is near Phil’s childhood home.)

They already had her room set up with her name on the outside, a sign on the closet that stated, "Family will do Frances May's laundry", and a calendar of events placed on her night stand. I decorated her room with a small Christmas tree, a 3 piece nativity set and a small Christmas doll that your Mother had given me back in 2003. I hung a Christmas flag on her wall that has a picture of cardinals on a tree branch and snow. After speaking with her nurses briefly, I was off to the airport.


Philip called at 2:50 pm to let me know the plane had landed. About 3:25 pm, out they came. Philip directed me to pull up about 3 feet from the curb so he and the attendant could transfer her. She looked exhausted but I did get a little smile. I was surprised at how well the transfer went from the chair into the front seat of my car. We strapped her into the seat belt; I held her hand and assured her that we were here with her and not to be frightened. She told me she was so tired and almost instantly fell asleep. Occasionally she would mumble some but not once did she open her eyes. I woke her when we arrived at the rehab center.

Philip and his army of attendants moved her and she was quickly transferred to her bed. Nancy, the almost toothless CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) who has worked there for ten years, was so gentle with her. She told her she was going to take off her beautiful sweater and red sweats and get her comfortable and warm. Her Depends were dry and her catheter still attached. I unpacked her suitcase, got things organized and decided to bring a few outfits home until she needed more. She asked me if she was home so I reminded her where she was and that she was going to be well taken care off. She then went off to sleep. I stayed with her while Philip signed more papers.

Her evening nurse, Anita asked us some questions concerning Fran's behavior and medication. She reassured her she would be in good hands. About 10:00 pm Anita called us to let us know that Fran was just up once to give her a hard time for taking her blood pressure. Her sugar was a bit low so she was given a shake, she drank about 1/2 of it. Her catheter was taken out and her bedtime meds were given…….off to sleep again. Philip and I will go to the 10:30 am Mass and then over to the rehab to join Fran for lunch. We will update you through an email later.

Philip talked to his sister, Anita, last evening for about 15 minutes. She was a bit low, worried about her Mother and the money it will take to keep her in a home. Philip reassured her that she was fine money-wise for now (It will help that the rates are much less than in Virginia). He told her he would call her from Fran's room on Tuesday when she is off from work. We will also email her.


Hanging in there – Day 1,
Maribeth, Your Favorite (and only) Sister-in-Law