Mom talking to Mary and Anita on Thanksgiving
Phil, Tom Turkey, and Momma May
Momma May on Thanksgiving 2009
Even DC ("darn" cat) had a place in the dining room on Thanksgiving.
Maribeth's Report
What a great Thanksgiving Day we had here in Texas. Levi was home from college and Fran was able to come to our home for the big feast.
The feast was served about 2:00 p.m. on a beautiful, elegant table that even Martha Stewart would envy. (I’m only repeating what my Mother-in-law said!)
Shelley, Fran’s sitter/companion, is now officially a member of the May Family. She was with Fran in the morning and then drove her to our home. Mark, one of Fran’s favorite CNA’s, was working so she felt secure about the transfer from her wheelchair to the car. When she arrived here, Levi was able (under the direction of Philip) to help lift her to the wheelchair. Once in our home she was able to relax.
While waiting for me to put the final touches on the meal she enjoyed looking through the Donovan Memorial Church Cookbook. She stated that she has tasted most of the recipes in the book because most of them are her friends' creations. I commented that there were no recipes of mine in the book. Fran then said, “That's because you're a Catholic and this is a Methodist Cookbook...No Catholics allowed!” We all laughed and enjoyed seeing Fran’s great sense of humor coming through once again.
Dinner was served and we all enjoyed the moist turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, yams, corn and cranberry sauce. We needed to take a break following dinner before we finished it off with chocolate and pecan pie topped with ice cream.
Fun was had by all!!! Before heading back to the nursing home Fran was able to call Anita and Mary and wish them a happy day.
Just keeping you all up to date,
Maribeth May
Phil's Version
So there we were, standing at our front door when Momma May and Shelley drove up to the door in Shelley’s town car. Smiles beamed everywhere. We all had empty stomachs in anticipation of a royal feast. I guess we were experiencing the joy of anticipation.
Got mom outta the car and in her wheelchair. Levi was here too. He rolled Mom into the house and parked her in the kitchen where she entertained us with her humor while Maribeth continued to prepare the last details of the fixin’s.
We all ate till Mom said her usual thing about satiation: “I’m about to pop!” We laughed and realized that her simple statement was so true. We were all at that satiation point. Turkey, mashed taters, yams, dressing, gravy, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, chardonnay, merlot, pecan pie, chocolate pie, carrot cake and ice cream were all on the menu that day.
She is doing very well these days. Her mind is good, her sense of humor is great and her spirits are up. She still struggles with the fact that she can’t walk. She and her sitter Shelley attend the center's bingo, skippo games and music performances almost daily. Fran looks forward to getting her hair done every other Tuesday and her nails painted.
Levi is home for the Thanksgiving holiday and surprised Fran with beautiful flowers on his first visit. He was amazed at the improvement in his grandmother’s health since he last saw her in August before leaving for JMU. We will be having her over today for Thanksgiving Dinner along with Shelley. We are looking forward to their visit.
Please continue to keep Fran in your thoughts and prayers. She always has all of you in her heart.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
We were thankful that Mary Margaret and Hunter Holler invited us for Thanksgiving dinner.
Happy Labor Day to All!
Philip just left to take a thermos of “strong stove coffee” to Fran to share with her “sitter” Shelley. One of the best things we have done for Fran (besides loving her, of course) is hiring Shelley to be with her throughout the day. They have bonded and have a good time together.
Last week Shelley started taking her on daily strolls (in her wheelchair) just to get her out of the room and to have her interact with some of the residents. Thursday they got their nails done at the “Pretty Nail Party” held every two weeks at Pleasant Manor. Friday was bingo day and Fran had a good time even though she didn’t win.
The doctor has put Fran on daily small doses of pain medication before breakfast, lunch and before bed. This has helped her with the transfer she has to go through with the lift from her bed to her wheelchair. I am happy to report that her mind is crystal clear and Fran enjoys playing memory games with cards.
Frances always lights up when she receives calls from Mary and Anita. We read Mary and Ed’s blog (Angelil Adventures) to her every week or so and she looks forward to Anita’s weekly letters. Keep up the good job, girls.
Until next time, continue to keep Fran in your prayers. She misses all of her friends and speaks of you often.
Even in Mom’s darkest of times over the past year, she has always maintained her sense of humor, which always manages to shine through to us despite her miseries and tribulations.
I am asking her some questions about some past times and getting some surprising answers, many of which make me laugh. I hope you enjoy them. Here is her take on Granddaddy and Grandmother May so far. What’s written is not totally verbatim, but pretty close to what she said. There may be more to come.
Grandmother May had a green thumb. She loved flowers. She would put on her blue and white bonnet with little ruffles around the face and her long dress. She spent hours with her flowers and her gardening projects. She canned stuff from the garden all summer long. Our basement was filled with a zillion quart mason jars on the shelves in the back room where we cleaned the fresh eggs. We enjoyed the fruits of her labor all year by eating what she had canned.
In her later years, Grandmother May became obsessed with weed killing. She hated dandelions with a passion, God only knows why. She got a long handled sprayer and can with weed killer and went over the entire yard. She was really thorough. Not only did she kill each and every dandelion but also she killed all the grass around it. Our yard was just funny to look at. It had little dead spots all over it, … but no dandelions, that was for sure.
Grandmother May made the sweetest tea. During the hay season she would make the tea and put it in a big old beat-up green thermos and take it to the hayfield. The men would use the aluminum screw-off cap to drink from. It was all beat up and bent as well but the men didn’t seem to care. They just loved the super cold super sweet tea she made.
She had some cooking delicacies that we all loved. Her ham potpie was one of the kids’ favorite. She introduced the spice celery salt to the family. It was particularly good on the squares of cooked dough that were in the potpie. She made oyster stew each year especially around the Election Day time. The broth was so buttery that no oysters were really needed to enjoy the stew. She always had those special little round crackers that we would put in the soup. The whole oyster stew experience was simply … Yummy!
Grandmother loved poetry and she could recite from memory many long poems that she had learned from her ancestors when she was a young child. Anita (my sister) collected a book of them. Hearing Grandmother recite them was a much better source of entertainment than the TV or radio when you children were growing up. Grandmother could even play the piano just a little. Her favorite was “Jesus, Lover of my Soul”. I don’t remember her playing anything other than that.
This summer has been extremely hot and recently very stormy. In the last 5 days we have gone from no rain for 3 weeks to Tornado Warnings and heavy rain. People say here in Texas, “If you don’t like the weather just wait a minute because it is sure to change”.
Last Tuesday morning we were awakened by loud thunder, bright lightning and heavy rains. There were severe weather warnings in our area and a tornado warning just 15 miles north us.
I went to see Fran once everything settled down and found her asleep. I was surprised to see her still in bed at 10:00 a.m. Her CNA, Katrina, informed me that when she got there at 5:30 a.m. the storm was just getting started and they were instructed by the charge nurse that patients needed to be moved to the center of the building due to a tornado warning. She said that she moved Fran first (she is real close to Fran and has been so good with her) and then proceeded with the others.
The 130 residents spent about an hour there in the center of the building because there are windows in each room that could blow. When the storm cleared, the residents were moved directly to the dining room (about 15 feet away) for breakfast. Many of the residents were still in bed recovering from the exciting morning. Fran told me she was a little frightened but Katrina stayed close to her and talked her through it.
Philip and I got to the center Saturday about 3:30 p.m. just before another storm broke. The residents did not have to move to the lobby this time, but it sure did lightning, thunder and rain extremely hard for about 90 minutes. Occasionally the lights would go on and off and that seemed to get the residents a bit upset.
I spoke to a man named Charles, who is in a room across from Fran’s, and he told me that the morning that all the residents were moved to the center of the building he chose to stay in his room because he felt he would be safer rolling himself into the bathroom where there are no windows than being all lined up together in the center of the building. He made me laugh because he said that if a tornado had hit it would take at least a week to get all the wheelchairs untangled. Phil and I are still laughing just picturing it!
Fran is still about the same. Her days include getting out of bed in the morning, going to the dining hall for breakfast and sometimes lunch and then napping a good bit. We continue to read to her and keep her updated on the current events of her family and friends.
Levi took 4 of his friends in with him to see her the other day and he said she really enjoyed it. They asked her about all the pictures on the wall and told her about some of their college experiences. They stayed about 30 minutes and Levi said that was about all the excitement she could take. She seemed quite tired by the time they left, but hopefully, cheered up.
Fran still says funny things. She catches us off-guard when we least expect it. She still shows some "spunk" from time to time.
Fran really misses all of you and enjoys hearing from you.
The weather in Texas has been in the high 90’s and some days as high as 104 degrees. Thank goodness for air-conditioned homes, cars and a swimming pool.
Fran stays inside most of the time at the nursing home. Occasionally we can get her out in the garden area on the gazebo in the mornings before it gets up in the 90’s. She prefers to stay in bed and be lazy but we encourage her to get up in her chair a couple times a day.
Her therapy has been discontinued except for chair exercises a few times a week. Her potassium levels are back to normal with no more severe leg cramps. Her appetite is so-so but she is showing some interest in her sugar free chocolates again.
She has lost some of her get-up and go and just stares a good bit. We can get her to smile now and then. She really enjoys and seems to relax when she is read to. Philip reads the Bible to her and I read from the book, “Simple Abundance”.
Continue to keep Fran in your thoughts and prayers.
From Maribeth May,
still Fran's favorite (and only) daughter-in-law:
It’s been a while since I have given a Fran update. She is holding her own with no big changes from our last update.
Philip and I try to get Fran out at least once week for either “dining out “or a Sunday afternoon at our home for a cookout. She enjoys the time away from the center. Philip makes juicy hamburgers with all the fixings. Sometimes I make my famous chicken tenders that she really likes with some rice and beans. Fran has mentioned how in Texas they eat a lot of cake and in Virginia they eat pies. I took that as a hint and have since always had a homemade pie fresh and warm when she comes over.
Fran enjoys her visits with Levi. Levi is working this summer while at home and taking a JMU class on line. He keeps busy but finds time to see his grandmother. His visits are usually short (about 30 minutes) but she doesn’t seem to mind because he always brings her a chocolate bar. (She still has a sweet tooth) 
I wish I could say that Fran is more confident about getting up and down and walking with her Merry Walker but I can’t. She is still terrified of falling and that limits her with her therapy. We are still waiting a call from the Baylor Institute to see if she qualifies for rehab with hydrotherapy. Some days she wants to go give it a try and other days she says she is too old to bother.
The staff at Pleasant Manor has really taken a liking to Fan. They love her southern accent and her sense of humor. The other day one of the CNAs asked her if she needed anything and she told him that the next time he is at the store to buy her a new set of legs.
Please continue to write Fran. She REALLY misses her Virginia family and friends. When she gets mail, she likes the letters read to her over and over. Her memory is very clear these days and she speaks fondly of all of you.
You can use either address:
C/o Philip May, 114 Vintage Dr., Waxahachie, TX 75165
C/o Pleasant Manor Health and Rehab, 3650 South I-35, Waxahachie, TX 75165
I (Philip) spent some time this past week with Momma May. Progress continues. Two days ago she walked about 70 feet in her “merry-walker” contraption. Yesterday she walked 120 feet and today she walked about 150 feet without direct assistance. That was all the way down the hall of the rehab facility and a full circle around the nurses' station.
She does still need a little boost to get to the standing position. I just grab the back of her pants and pull up on the count of three and up she stands. We laugh about me giving her a “wedgie” with the boost.
Mom still needs the “pep talk” to help her recognize her continuing accomplishments. She thinks she is stuck with her progress. Today I wagged my finger in her face and said, “Mom, don’t even think about saying that you are making no progress. Two days ago it was 70 feet, yesterday it was 120 feet, and today it was 150 feet. You’re kickin’ b#&%!”
My description to her finally sank in. She laughed a little laugh and a broke out in a big smile…. kind of like the smile on the cat who just ate the canary”. We both laughed. She was actually pretty pleased with herself.
She called Becky May and told her about how much she had walked. There was a certain excitement in her voice that was music to my ears. She was pleased with the day’s accomplishments and encouraged about her future.
We await mom’s summoning to the Baylor Institute of Rehabilitation in downtown Dallas. It is a 16-bed specialized unit and competitive to be admitted to. It might be next week or even a month before she gets to go. In the meantime, we are happy with her continued progress.
Tomorrow we will get Mom about 2 p.m. for a holiday cookout. Juicy cheeseburgers, sweltering hot dogs, bacon baked beans, mustard potato salad and apple sauce are on the menu. We might even have a little “happy hour” before the burgs and dogs go on the grill. I’m not sure what Maribeth has on the dessert menu, but I am sure it will be sweet. That is the part of the meal that Mom is really looking forward to
Before I left her this afternoon, I said, “Mom, just remember, if you lay in that bed like a vegetable, you will become one. You still have some living to do.” She smiled and thought a few seconds and then said, “Yes, I do”. HOPE LIVES ON!!
Mom’s rehabilitation struggle has been slow for the most part but, we're happy to report that there has been some recent improvement. Maribeth and I went to a health staff meeting last week concerning Mom’s care. We were very surprised to find out from the physical therapist that Mom was walking better.
The physical therapist had just about given up on Mom and walking, but she has changed her mind and is working patiently with her now toward improvement, and eventually, physical strength and mobility independence. In the parallel bars Mom is walking with very little assistance. She tires easily though and requires encouragement to continue each PT session to its maximum benefit. She walked about 40 feet yesterday. That’s progress!
She is also using the walker some too, but still with great apprehension of falling. There is improvement though. Mom is also now able to move herself in her wheelchair (though she would rather be pushed) around the rehabilitation center. She goes to the cafeteria some on her "bicycle", as she calls her wheelchair.
I was with Mom yesterday when her physician, Dr. Bosquet, visited. She was the most oriented she had ever been with him. The Dr. and I were surprised and pleased. Her thinking is clearly improving. We think she is presently on a good balance of medications to optimize her cognitive abilities.
She has a cell phone now and is little by little learning to use it, sorting out what the buttons do and which ones she should “mash” to get who she wants to talk to. All those buttons make me scratch my head as well. I am working with her to do the plain & simple stuff like turning the phone on and off, answering it when it rings and charging it up when the battery gets weak.
Voice mail is my next task to tackle with Mom. So far she has been good with her phone. She hasn’t called us up in the middle of the night because she thinks there is a spider in her bed or anything. We think that’s just fine.
For friends and family who would like to call her, the number is 972-825-7871. She is still hard of hearing, so you will need to speak loudly and enunciate clearly, please.
In a couple of weeks we plan to take her to a physician specialist in the area of medical and rehabilitative medicine. We have the appointment, but if she continues to improve at her present rate, we may not even need to see this rehabilitation guru doctor. We’ll see how she progresses.
Mom still wants to return to Virginia, but she will have a few hoops to jump through before we can realistically make all that happen. Certainly we will, if and when she gains enough independence to fend for herself back on the farm. Dreams and goals, what challenge would life be if we didn’t have them? They motivate us and give us a reason to get up and go each day. Mom still has them.
She appreciates all the letters, cards, and phone conversations with all her friends and family. She wants everyone to know that.
Philip
Last Saturday morning Mom was unresponsive. Appropriately, her nurse called 911 and an ambulance took Mom to Baylor Medical Center in Waxahachie, where I work (Phil is a nurse anesthetist there). It was a 10-minute ride. Maribeth and I met the ambulance as it arrived at the emergency room.
Indeed, Mom was unresponsive at that time. Her vital signs were fine but her state of consciousness was not.She had a CT scan of her head and they discovered nothing new: no midline shift, no blood masses, and no tumors.
A short time after her arrival, she began to respond a little. She would open her eyes on command, but could not speak. She could grip with her hands when we requested her to. That was the beginning of her improvement.
They admitted her to a private room on the 3rd floor. I stayed with her. About two hours later, she spontaneously opened her eyes and said “Phil”. In a short time she began to speak but was a little lethargic with her responses. She slept most of the day while we attended.
After an EEG, Carotid Artery Doppler Study, and an MRI, the higher cerebral heavy-weights (doctors) were not 100% sure of the correct diagnosis. Some, including me, thought this was a TIA (transient ischemic attack) from a little plaque slough off from her carotid artery, which blocked some small vessels temporarily in her brain. Yet others thought her experience was from a special kind of seizure activity. The point now is moot.......Mom improved.
She stayed at the hospital for 4 nights for evaluation and further observation. Even the physical therapy department of the medical center came and worked with her. Things went well.
She was discharged back to Pleasant Manor Health and Rehabilitation center after 4 nights. She is well loved by staff and residents of that facility. They called and asked about her while she was at Baylor Medical Center and they were happy to have her back.
Mom is not only back to the Rehab Center, but she is back in her PT routine to gain strength for walking. They have this device kind of like a walker, called a “merry-walker”. It is an enclosed walker device such that, if Mom gets fearful of falling, she simply sits down, since the seat is underneath her at all times. We discovered that her Achilles tendons have contracted which hinders her ability to stand up straight. We will be working on stretching those little hummers out a bit over the upcoming days and weeks.
Today Mom’s spirits were good. Even in her darkest moments, she still maintains that comedian-like sense of humor. Yep, she’s still a comic. Maybe that’s why all of us and so many other people love her so!
(Posted by Phil, Fran's baby boy.)
passing a Kroger so they pulled in. They found the cookies, then she wanted candy (not sugar-free). Mother may be aging in various ways, but her sweet tooth is still intact! 
